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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967631">Behind Closed Doors</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixWillRise/pseuds/PhoenixWillRise'>PhoenixWillRise</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Past Domestic Violence, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:54:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,302</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967631</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixWillRise/pseuds/PhoenixWillRise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>TK and Michelle bond together after Carlos is called for an emergency during their game night. Tk learns about Carlos' past.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Michelle Blake &amp; Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), Michelle Blake &amp; TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“You’re a cheater!”</p><p><br/>
“Now hold on there pretty face-”</p><p><br/>
An exasperated voice,“Michelle, really?”</p><p><br/>
TK whipped around to stare at his boyfriend, his voice accusatory,“She is cheating! She’s hiding the money in her pocket. Carlos, baby, say something!”</p><p><br/>
Carlos rolled his eyes. He thought Michelle was the most competitive at games or anything really but TK may just be in line of the title. </p><p><br/>
“Now you two, if we can’t get through a simple game that we have been playing for 10 minutes than we’re cutting this game night short. Michelle please stop hoarding money like I’ve seen you been doing. TK, stop acting like a brat and pay Michelle.”</p><p><br/>
The two glared at one another before they both broke down into laughs and giggles.</p><p><br/>
He leaned back on his couch, muttering underneath his breath, “You two are children.”</p><p><br/>
It had been a rough week full of emergency calls and insanely stupid criminal activity. Carlos had the idea of planning a little get-together at his place  with two people who were very special to him.</p><p><br/>
“Your turn Carlos.”</p><p><br/>
He was about to roll the dice, keeping an eye on a suspicious looking Michelle when his cell rings.</p><p><br/>
Carlos drops the dice before looking at the screen, it's work and TK knows it from his pout and Michelle’s drop of shoulders.</p><p><br/>
He whispered, “Sorry.”</p><p><br/>
“Reyes. A domestic? Okay I’ll be there.”</p><p><br/>
“Sorry amor and sorry chica. Rain check?”</p><p><br/>
The game wasn’t fun without Carlos there to catch them in their bullshit so they’d stopped to put on the TV and use Carlo’s netflix account while he got ready.</p><p><br/>
He felt a strong hand tilt his head back, smiling as Carlos kissed him sweetly. He surged forward attempting to nip those full pink lips.</p><p><br/>
Michelle cleared her throat. “Keep it PG boys.”</p><p>TK rolled his eyes playfully as Carlos rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip before going over to get his wallet and keys.</p><p><br/>
“I’ll see you later.”</p><p><br/>
Michelle looked up as TK busied himself finding something they would both like.</p><p><br/>
Michelle hooked her thumbs in her jean pockets, she looked at Carlos as he was about to leave.</p><p><br/>
“Something wrong Mich?”</p><p><br/>
His easy smile dimmed a little at how worried his best friend looked as she seemed to hesitate in saying what she was  truly thinking and feeling. Michelle Blake was never at a loss for words.</p><p><br/>
He was about to ask if she was alright when as quick as a whip, a familiar smile decorated her face. </p><p><br/>
She shook her head, waving a hand as if to convince Carlos that it was nothing.</p><p><br/>
“No no just just stay safe.”</p><p><br/>
He gave her a smile, he pulled her into a hug before whispering, “Always. Can you keep him safe while I’m out? He worries.”</p><p><br/>
“Of course. Your boy is always safe with me around.”</p><p><br/>
“I mean it! No binging murder mystery shows or Bird Box movies. He loves them and I don’t but he loves to talk about it when I’m about to sleep and I don’t need those nightmares.”</p><p><br/>
“Just admit it you hate scary movies/shows. It's okay we’re all scared of things. Of course they are more rational fears compared to yours.”</p><p><br/>
****</p><p><br/>
“So how did you two meet?”</p><p><br/>
“More like a question I should be asking you Strand.”</p><p><br/>
“Come on Michelle, you work in the medical field, he's a police officer.It looks like you guys have a really strong bond.Kind of a little jealous to tell you the truth. Please please tell me.”</p><p><br/>
She  turned to give the younger man a puzzled look, before she did a double take. Those green eyes were too strong to resist. She wonders if he used them to get away with shit when he was child. Who was she kidding, Carlos himself had told her how he, who was not a big fan of pets was almost convinced in adopting a dog. Just because TK thought it looked lonely in the shelter they’d visited on one of their random dates.</p><p><br/>
Michelle sighed, settling further into the cushy pillows that decorated Carlos’ couch. </p><p><br/>
“Alright then Strand. I’ll tell you how I and our favorite cop found one another.’</p><p><br/>
TK settled into his spot on the couch,cuddling with a throw blanket. </p><p><br/>
“Well remember when I met you dad.?”</p><p><br/>
TK smiled remembering how quickly Michelle claimed her territory. </p><p><br/>
“ I was the same way with him. But instead of behaving like the other Captains, other firefighters who were rude and asshole-y to me and my team, he stepped back and respected what I had to say and do.</p><p><br/>
She took a pause.” I liked him and the respect was mutual. Pretty soon we were meeting for lunch or events for fun. Then I found out that he was my sister’s friend in school. Both were total nerds in school by the way.</p><p><br/>
TK shook his head in disbelief, but could see it now ,a shy, studious, beautiful Carlos. </p><p><br/>
“So I had a soft spot for him. But I think we became way closer after…”</p><p><br/>
Michelle trailed off.</p><p><br/>
Suddenly tonight's interruption, her hesitancy in letting Carlos go despite him having done these types of calls before came rushing back.</p><p><br/>
They’d been on the path of close, got your back type of friendship. A bond between two people who trusted only a handful of people in their lives. But there was one part of their history. A part that only few knew. She was sure not one of the new folk  at the 126 would know about the quiet policeman.</p><p><br/>
And she had a strong feeling that TK didn’t have a clue about it either.</p><p><br/>
She released a breath, as TK leaned forward a concerned expression on his face.</p><p><br/>
"Michelle? Babe? Are you still with me?"</p><p><br/>
She nodded her head a little.</p><p><br/>
“Look Carlos is a very special person in my life. A really good soul. We became closer after sharing an apartment. "</p><p><br/>
Tk wanted to ask more but there was a faraway look in the head paramedic.</p><p><br/>
“Really? Why did that happen?”</p><p><br/>
Michelle fell silent at his question. He turned around from the cozy nest he’d created.</p><p><br/>
The young firefighter tilted his head curiously,“Are you alright?”</p><p><br/>
She knew it wasn’t her place to tell that part of Carlos’ past.</p><p><br/>
Michelle rolled her shoulders. Trying to ease the tension in her shoulders and neck. “You know I think a pizza sounds really good about now. What do you think?”</p><p><br/>
Food that was always a sure guarantee of a distraction.</p><p><br/>
He looked at her strangely before slowly nodding his head in agreement.“Yea okay I’ll order it. </p><p><br/>
She  smiled at him hoping it didn’t come off too forced.</p><p><br/>
But even with the cozy blanket now on her lap. She couldn’t stop the images of that day. The day where she realized that bad things not only happened to good people. But that bad, the evil could make itself look like a charming, sweet accountant who behind doors was someone  angry, loud, drunk and abusive.</p><p><br/>
She remembered arriving at the scene. Knowing just the basic facts.</p><p>A good, concerned neighbor had called 9-1-1 after hearing the crashing coming from the apartment next to theirs. The sound of glass breaking. Something hard being thrown against the wall.  </p><p><br/>
She assumed it was a domestic dispute. She expected to treat cuts and bruises, maybe a broken wrist or rib. Never did she imagine treating someone she knew and loved.</p><p><br/>
When they began to interview the neighbors, they started getting a clearer picture of what was happening in APT 27B.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Flashback</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michelle felt her stomach swoop and a cold shiver go down her spine as they arrived at a familiar-looking apartment. Carlos and Matthew’s apartment. </p><p><br/>
She’d been over a couple of times in the past and had seen just how much Carlos was not happy about the living arrangement. </p><p><br/>
It was far from work and farther from home. In the back of her mind she thought that was probably why Matthew had been so determined to have them move in together. The man had always struck her as being a bit controlling. Not wanting Carlos to go out with her or anyone else for that matter. </p><p><br/>
Michelle and her team had been called to a victim suffering from multiple contusions and a bleeding wound to the temple.</p><p><br/>
She prays to whoever is listening that this is all a coincidence that the call is for some poor soul, a neighbor. And not who she thinks it is. She passes by a police officer taking testimonies from neighbors. What she hears only serves to confirm her suspicions.</p><p><br/>
<em>Sometimes he has bruises on his face and neck.</em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>I saw him once with a busted lip. And a black eye.</em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>Who? Officer Reyes or Mr. Davis?</em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>Carlos. He’s such a kind man. Used to talk to us all the time. But after a while he stopped.</em>
</p><p><br/>
<em>He’s a cop, right? I thought he’d gotten hurt on the job,not by his boyfriend.</em>
</p><p><br/>
A cop looks at her and tilts her head. Michelle’s gaze follows the direction and pauses.</p><p><br/>
The apartments have these little tables where the tenants can sit and chatter. She sees a hunched figure, holding an ice bag to his face, she sighs deeply as she recognizes the curly hair,matted with blood. </p><p><br/>
A blanket is covering his body as he nods to whatever the police officer is telling him. </p><p><br/>
Michelle approaches her best friend. A young man that had immediately drawn her attention from how intense and professional he was at his job. How sweet and compassionate he was to victims. Those afraid. The vulnerable. With her when she felt like there was no hope in finding her sister.</p><p><br/>
She raised a hand to stop her team from approaching the man who was wincing at the sound of someone’s yelling and cursing coming  from across the courtyard. </p><p>She looked up, stunned at the sight of Matthew handcuffed to the railing of the stair, his wrist and arm bloodied from how hard and long he’d been pulling at the restraint trying to free himself. Free himself in order to get to Carlos. </p><p><br/>
Much later she would learn that it had  been Matthew pushing Carlos against the wall after the accountant had accused Carlos of having an affair. The second Carlos opened his mouth to defend himself, claiming he was covering for a fellow police officer with a sick kid. All hell had broken loose. When Matthew got into his fits well there was no talking to him. </p><p><br/>
His boyfriend has gotten rough.Punching him, pushing him. But there was this darkness in his eyes the ferocity that he attacked Carlos with that the police officer genuinely feared for his life. Carlos had had enough and basically taken down his abusive boyfriend with an elbow to the nose.</p><p><br/>
A fellow officer would also tell her that, “Carlos handcuffed the asshole to the railing of the stairs. The neighbors had called 9-1-1, though so it was a shit storm. But once they saw it was Carlos, one of their own and the multitude of bruises on his person. Well they all came to the same conclusion.”</p><p><br/>
A weary voice sounded, “Hey chica.”</p><p><br/>
Michelle whipped around, her glare softening at the sight of a sad smiling Carlos. She felt as if someone had punched her in the gut. All the air in her lungs had escaped as she took in the fresh bruises on Carlos' face. Those warm brown eyes so full of intensity and a fierce protection over those he loved. Their fire seemed to have been dimmed. </p><p><br/>
“Hi hon, you look like you need some help. Maybe some TLC. Maybe moving in with me until things are worked out.”</p><p><br/>
She was already sitting by his side, as he nodded, his shoulders shaking as he broke down, a hand pressed against his mouth.All that control, vanished as he began to sob into Michelle’s shoulder as she circled her arms around him.</p><p><br/>
She bit her lip trying to keep her own tears at bay. </p><p><br/>
“You’re going to be okay, honey. You’re going to come out stronger. And that bastard is going to get his, just you wait.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter should be out sooner!! Thanks for reading!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos pulled up to the address dispatch had given him. He leaned back, sighing as he tried to calm his nerves, taking one deep breath after the next. He was a police officer who served his community, there was no option of picking what calls came through dispatch. But he would like to consider himself somewhat fortunate that if there was a domestic violence call he wasn’t the first one called to check.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it appeared his luck had just ran out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been on a couple of those particular calls before, but he’d managed to block everything out. Everything from that time he lived and spent with- with that monster. 

So he could do his job. He wouldn’t take that from him. Not when he’d try to take away so much from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Carlos walked up the path leading to what appeared to be a perfect home with a white picket fence, he heard some commotion at the front door of the house. There was a woman attempting to wave off the concern of the police and EMT on the scene.Claiming that her neighbors must have heard the television with the volume turned on loud. And that this was ridiculous and everything was fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perfectly fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos couldn’t help notice his co-workers get quiet as he approached the victim.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course they still remembered. He nodded at them, silently telling them to give him a chance to talk with the victim.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He saw the bruises and scrapes on her face, some fresh and some in the healing process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighed in annoyance when Carlos approached her. Carlos fell silent as she held out her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look I know you're only doing your job but like I told the other police officers. Everything is fine and I apologize for all the trouble we're putting you through.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She winced as she heard the man currently in cuffs yelling obscenities. Carlos subtly stepped into her view, attempting to block her from her husband.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It's no trouble at all ma’am. We just want to make sure you are safe. Could I please have your name?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighed, nodding her head, “Lydia my name is Lydia.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos nodded, offering her a reassuring smile. He remembered how terrified he would get when someone would knock on their apartment door, Matthew would grab him by the collar of his shirt and basically threaten him if he said anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How the cops would find it humiliating that one of their own couldn’t fight back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That no one would believe him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No one would love someone as weak and insecure as he. A cop being slapped around in his own home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Carlos had believed him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was important to read body language. It could save his life and others. Knowing the other person’s intention before they acted on them. He used it on perps, on new people he met. But here he could see a frightened, terrified person who was in a dangerous position and needed help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, we just want to know that you are safe. From what I see, your husband’s only injury are bruised bloody knuckles and a bloody temple. And you seem to have the most marks and bruises on your person. Can you explain that for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She offered a small nervous laugh, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her slight frame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>““I’m clumsy and he's boxer. It's a normal thing for him to have bruised knuckles.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ma’am please we got some calls from your neighbor that they heard fighting and screaming coming from your home. Could you please explain what happened? How did you get those bruises?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lydia  was avoiding his eye. Looking over his shoulder toward the direction  where her husband was in handcuffs. He stared at her menacingly, completely ignoring the two cops talking to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos eyed him, taking in the flared nostrils, the veins on his neck and temple popping. If he were to look at his hands, he was sure they would be clenched, the skin white with how tight he held them in fists. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A shaky voice got his attention,“I fell at the gym. Didn’t notice a dumbbell on the floor and tripped over it. That’s all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She finished with a tight smile. Her eyes glittered with unshed tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos placed his notepad away before taking a seat on the steps by Lydia.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed his gaze falling on the young woman, “I would say the same thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked at him wearily though her brown hair that escaped from her bun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When they would ask how I got hurt. How I had gotten a black eye or a busted lip. I would say I fell at the gym. And they believed me. But as much I hoped they would believe it in the back of my mind I hoped that they wouldn’t and that they would figure it out. I  I don’t even know how to describe the feeling. Wanting to be helped but being too scared to accept it in fear of being beaten even worse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She scoffed, resting her arms on her knees,“Pssh you’re a cop. You look like you could take down anyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos swallowed, “Lots of co-workers and others said the same thing but I was so in what I thought was love for this person who convinced, brainwashed me into thinking that he was in the right and that I was doing everything wrong. That I deserved whatever treatment he gave me. It was like cop Carlos didn’t even exist in that apartment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remembered dreading the ride back to the apartment, there was always a voice in the back of his head that told him to leave. To keep driving and never go back. But there was a stronger, louder voice that said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No one will love you like he does. Stay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos continued,“It was as if I was two different people. One that was trained to deal with perps that were aggressive violent and the other that accepted this guy pushing me into walls, kicking me, slapping me with no question. I get it why you don’t want to say anything but you need to know that you don’t deserve this. No one does. “</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wipes a couple of tears falling from her dark brown eyes. She’d stopped looking at her husband. Her attention resting on the dark bruise on her wrist. A bruise she knew that extended beyond her forearm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos was someone who was frank about things and appreciated people doing the same. It was better than beating around the bushes. He thought that in this situation his frankness was necessary. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This situation doesn’t get better Ma’am, it ends in two ways. One, which is the best is that the abuser goes to jail and you are free from him. The second which I have seen unfortunately numerous times, is the victim in a body bag.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lydia stared at him with big eyes, he could see understanding and acceptance in them as she finally nodded. She took the statement form Carlos offered to her, beginning to write tonight's and past abuse. Her attention completely on the words flowing from her pen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos wasn’t the only one who had noticed Lydia not giving her husband any attention. He attempted to push past the cops who in return turned him around and had him bend over the hood of the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to regret this you bitch!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos hoped his startled jump and his hands shaking weren’t noticeable. He clenched his hands tightly, forcing them to stop. The tremors usually went away after a while.The police officer closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was still there. That fear Matthew had instilled him after so long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were just certain phrases that triggered him, set him back to the time where he thought he deserved every word, every hit, punch, every belittling comment from the man he thought he loved and loved him in return. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She saw them put her husband in the back of their car. He took a packet of tissues from his belt as the young woman began to cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He repeated the very words that had given hope when he felt he had none, “It's okay you’re going to be okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glared at the man looking through the window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It may not feel like it but you will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carlos leaned heavily against the door of his home as he closed it softly with a click, feeling himself finally able to think. To breathe. To calm all those racing thoughts and emotions that had plagued him the entire rest of the night. </p><p> </p><p>It was the same feeling he had when he’d gone looking for apartments right after Matthew’s arrest. He wanted an open space but not too big to make him fear the shadows in the corners or the pathway down the hall. He wanted it to be peaceful and inviting. And the warm colors he’d chosen like the forest green and dark oak furniture made it feel like it was his own sanctuary.</p><p> </p><p>But despite the night being over, he could not help but think about the woman he’d met. She’d given her statement, her husband had been arrested and Carlos was left to the privacy of his patrol car. He’d held onto the steering wheel, his knuckles white from how tight he gripped it.Holding on until the shaking stopped, until his head cleared and the feeling of throwing up went away.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure how he’d made it through the next couple of calls. But the second they’d said that he could punch out, he took it and made his way straight home. </p><p> </p><p>Now he took in his familiar surroundings, smiling softly at the blanket folded neatly on the couch. Just one of the many signs of TK. In the kitchen, a small note on the fridge told him that there was pizza if he was hungry.</p><p> </p><p>It was 4 AM and he was exhausted with everything he’d gone through tonight. Hunger was the farthest thing from his mind at the moment. </p><p> </p><p>He secured his gun in a safe in his closet before heading down the hallway. The moonlight seeped through the open doorway that led to his bedroom. He was greeted with an even better sight. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>TK was cuddled in bed, wearing a pair of Carlos sweatpants and a well worn and beloved APD t-shirt. He’d stopped paying attention to whatever he’d chosen hours ago on Netflix, his eyes staring at his phone. He’d been thinking about his conversation with Michelle. One that she’d not so subtly interrupted by the mention of food. He’d wanted to ask Michelle about the whole roommate situation but she seemed to be in a world of her own after that. More than once he’d snuck a peek at her sending a text message to Carlos. </p><p>He began doing the same and he got the same result, no answer. He prayed to whoever was listening that his boyfriend was safe and well.</p><p> </p><p>Michelle had left after only picking at a slice of pizza, claiming that she had an early shift and if he needed anything to call her. Text. her. Send her an owl if all else failed.</p><p> </p><p>That had gotten a small laugh between them, elevating the slight tension that had brewed after Carlos departure.</p><p> </p><p>So he’d tidied up and headed to bed. With the mission. He would speak to Carlos. The man was always open and honest with him.</p><p> </p><p>He was startled from his thoughts with the sound of a warm deep voice rang throughout the quiet bedroom. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey sweetheart. I’m surprised you’re still awake.”<br/>
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</p><p>The young firefighter grinned serenely, clearly fighting back sleep as he murmured,“How could I sleep without my own personal heater next to me.”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled sweetly as Carlos leaned down, his warm hand cupping his jaw as he pressed a kiss to TK’s waiting lips.</p><p> </p><p>He closed his eyes as Carlos leaned his forehead to his, simply taking in one another. Breathing in each other. Sighing in relief at the knowledge that  the other was safe and sound.</p><p>He leaned down, his warm breath tickled TK, as it brushed the sensitive skin underneath his ear, “Let me take a quick shower and I’ll join you.”</p><p> </p><p>The young firefighter nodded, tipping his head up once more to receive a kiss from his boyfriend. </p><p> </p><p>He was beginning to drift off when he felt big, strong hands take hold of his waist, maneuvering him so he was aligned with the police officer’s warm body. He took in the woody, citrus scent that came from Carlos body wash.</p><p> </p><p>A hand lifted his head, a finger under his chin.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you’re losing the battle to sleep there, babe.”</p><p> </p><p>He could see the tension that had Carlos wound up, he lifted himself up, staring into those gorgeous brown eyes. Wondering why Carlos wasn’t saying what was bothering him. He was used to the man being so open with him, it was what he loved most about the man. </p><p> </p><p>He began tracing soft lines down and over Carlo’s face, nudging playfully at the furrow in his brow. Smiling at the soft laugh he got in response.</p><p><br/>
“You know Michelle told me something interesting tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>Carlos turned his head to the side, a smirk sneaking it's way across his mouth,“Was it how to cheat at board games?”</p><p> </p><p>TK snorted,“No well...yes but she told me that you two were roommates for a while. I didn't know that. No wonder you two are so close.”</p><p> </p><p>He raised his head off the mountain of pillows underneath them, as Carlos' eyes seemed to widen, and he could swear his voice sounded shakey as he stammered,“Did-did she tell you anything else?”</p><p> </p><p>TK’s soothing pattern he’d been making with the tip of his finger stopped all too soon. He opened his eyes to find a pair of beautiful green eyes looking down at him in concern.</p><p> </p><p>“No no but she seemed a lot less chatty after that. Kept looking at her phone. She told me to text her when you came home.”</p><p> </p><p>Carlos shook his head. Those beautiful, kind warm brown eyes now seemed as if they were far away.</p><p> </p><p>He quietly murmured, “She still worries.”</p><p> </p><p>The young firefighter feeling his boyfriend, the person who is so free in expressing himself, begin to close himself off now, could only press himself closer, his hand searching for his own to hold on. As if to anchor him down.</p><p> </p><p> “About what?”</p><p> </p><p>“I should have perhaps seen this particular conversation happening sooner or later.”</p><p> </p><p>TK didn't want to push, he was all too well familiar with what happened when someone would pressue him into revealing his deepest, darkest secrets. He would bring up those concrete walls, shut down and let his thoughts rain havoc in his mind until he was pounding on the very same walls for an escape. In any shape or form.</p><p> </p><p>He ran his thumb in soothing circles against Carlos’ wrist, feeling the steady pulse lull him into a sense of calmness.“What is this particular conversation about? It's okay if you don’t want to talk about it right now. I can see how tired you are but baby if you think it will help. I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.”</p><p> </p><p>Carlos brought their joined hands up for him to kiss the other’s knuckles. TK couldn’t help his eyes fluttering closed at the intimate and absolutely sweet gesture.’</p><p> </p><p>Carlos pulls TK closer to him, their foreheads touching, the hum of the air conditioner the only sound in the room before he opens his mouth and proceeds to tell the man he loves a part of his past that he'd never felt comfortable sharing with any past lovers. Though he’d never gotten to this stage of being comfortable and close enough to them to want to share a major part of his past that he once wished so desperately to erase.</p><p> </p><p>He saw TK’s beautiful green eyes shimmer with tears as he told how Matthew was sweet and attentive in the beginning but behind closed doors he became a monster. Anything would set him off. The slam of a door, a bad day at work, or one time the only time he ever burned something in the kitchen. The fire alarm had gone off and well he really doesn’t want to remember that particular day.</p><p> </p><p>He brought the younger man to his chest, when his chin began to chin tremble. Carlos was shaking and he wasn't sure if it was fear or the control he’d trained himself with to keep that part of his past locked in safe and keep it there. That safe was cracking and all those feelings he’d repressed were bursting to come out. He sobbed brokenly as TK curled his arms around his waist as if wanting to protect him from the evils of the world. </p><p> </p><p>He told him the untrue words Matthew shouted and used to belittle him. To crush the confidence he had. That any bit of happiness in his life was immediately stomped out by Matthew.</p><p> </p><p> Promotion at his job.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘You’re just a level higher than a mall cop.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Coming home from a great day at work.</p><p> </p><p>Matthew would spend the rest of it complaining about Carlos. How useless he was. How he would never be the perfect boyfriend. That no one would ever want him like he did.</p><p> </p><p>How it first started with him distancing Carlos from friends and families. Telling him that he needed to be a man and create his own life. That they would become a family and that would be all they needed. </p><p> </p><p>Then controlling who he spent time with. How long and pretty soon he’d developed this anxiety. If he was late to a date or getting home, Matthew  would be furious.</p><p> </p><p>Words turned into slaps, slaps turned punches, and soon kicking and being pushed against walls and doors. One time so hard that he’d gotten a concussion. </p><p> </p><p>Once he was away from Matthew, away from that apartment that had served to be his own personal hell hole. He went through another form of hell. PTSD.</p><p> </p><p>It took over nights and even days when sleep would finally overcome him and in those dreams that's where Matthew would make an unfortunate appearance. He would wake up screaming, clutching his churning stomach before running to the toilet to throw up.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t realized his tears or the trembling in his voice until TK’s hands gently ran his hands up and down his back. Trying soothe all those past bruises that had littered Carlos’ body by a hate-fueled monster. </p><p> </p><p>His own tears glistening on his cheeks, before he pulled Carlos closer, his face buried on the side of his neck.</p><p> </p><p>TK pressed chaste kisses against the curly locks. Whispering in between kisses for Carlos to breathe. That he was so brave. And that he was safe. That he waa a wonderful beautiful compassionate human being.</p><p> </p><p>He gasped in air as if he’d been holding it for the entire duration. He could feel his ribs expanding with each gasping breath he took, he could feel the sobs that fell from his lip rattle his body. But more importantly he could feel strong arms hold him tight, in a safe embrace. Hear sweet reassurances whispered in soft tones from his boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>Where he was being shielded from the horrors that had plagued his mind during those years with Matthew.</p><p><br/>
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x.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Excuse the mistakes, felt some inspiration and  I will be back to look for those later! Stay safe and happy Pride you wonderful, beautiful people!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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